& here they are

Social media and my site is a place for me to share my words & brighter moments, & I love it for that. But it’s not realistic, I am a flawed, imperfect human. 

Today was a hard day. I’m feeling as flat as a worn out old tire & I am bleeding heavy with the full moon [yes women do bleed.] & today I lacked kindness for myself. Today I lacked patience - just wanting it all now now now. Today I didn’t know if I wanted to curl up in a ball & cry a river or scream out in elation for life - a bit of both, chopping and changing minute to minute. Today I felt itchy. Today I felt a little sad. Today the world was a little too fast paced & fear-ridden for me [kinda everyday.] So I left uni & went to a favourite cafe in Brunswick of mine with the intention of writing. & I just felt so much pressure. I just couldn’t surrender enough for the love, the words that are bigger than I, to come through. Or perhaps there just were no words when I decided grudgingly they should show up for me even if I am agitated. Maybe it was as simple as just going home to allow myself the rest my body was screaming out from the hilltops it needed. 

Somedays all you may have in you is a walk, a coffee, a rest, a day with your dog. Other days you may feel you are on top of the world. All is beautiful, all is okay. 

So I finally went for that walk I wanted to go on all day. & I unraveled those silly layers of expectation, pressure & impatience. I stepped back. & I found myself apologising to the setting sky / universe for getting in the way of what ever words are meant for me today.

& here they are. ✨