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 love & cigarettes

‘we found love in dust & silver linings’

love & cigarettes

 170+ pages of prose & poetry creatively written in a time of bittersweet falling apart; to fall back together all over again

an exploration of words, nature & heart; birthed in a season of love & surrender, questions & contradictions.

'I am in awe of this young woman - who has done what many of us writers, dreamers & composers do - she backed herself & stood up for her words, her voice, her beauty & her magic. Her work arrived in my letterbox amid a churned up ocean of events. I cried alongside her vulnerabilities & found solace in the way they echo mine, although we are two very unique women on difference voyages. Thank you for always being a spark of energy & the bolt of courage we could all learn a little more from.'

- Tarryn Abraham; creative director, photographer, magic maker.

about love & cigarettes continued

 two years of

the gentle whispers for love & cigarettes were planted with a rough tug of the ground under my feet on the 4th of July 2016 (exactly 2 years to the start of the pre-order campaign) with the deepest felt fall of my life; the day the love of my life up until that point left my world to love me at a distance.

I had been trying to make something fit that simply no longer did. so eventually, as all things that aren’t meant for us do, he fell away & left a raw & swollen wide-open space.

three days before, my two best friends - who we had shared a home with up until that point - also decided to allow their worlds to part & love each other as only friends.

“& so began the most wonderful & scary darkness - a falling away of even the parts of me I wanted to cling to for dear life, for a surrender over to the even better. & then in the midst of feeling my body might just break from such a painful but intricately placed process of falling away, a veil dropped. here also began a rise into love with the ex-love of a sister who was made of the same star as I.”

& an even deeper falling-away process began, as I made a choice to pursue my hearts deepest calling in a time where I had never felt so clear. I had shedded years of being that no longer served me & it was time to move with my heart.

& so the grounds we had built a sisterhood on fell away as he & I chose each other & allowed a love to bloom, & a very beautiful heart to break in the process.

it was there - sitting in the deepest, darkest experience of loss whilst never feeling more intuitively led towards a path in my life - where the words began & still haven’t stopped. forgiving myself was a complicated process, textured with a gentle pink softness & a red fire that burned all in the one.

playing with words brought on an avalanche of unexplored corners of my own encounters with love up until that point, both crippling & magical. & a deeper question surfaced inside of me: ‘what does it mean to truly love?’ or better yet:

‘what would love do?’

there have been so many choices I have made in my life in an external pursuit for love from others, as this is where I thought it was. & love’s opposite in my title became ‘cigarettes’.

love & cigarettes: PAPERBACK.